Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
your room smells of hookers.
And success
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
