You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
