Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends