Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you