Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night