once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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