im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
