9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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