no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
