can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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