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Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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