im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
