So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
BRING THE BAGELS
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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