jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
