My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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