Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
