Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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