She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just want nice things and good sex
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
