I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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