"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She's the barista slut.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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