I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
