remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
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Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
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They took my balls.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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