Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
