After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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