i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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