I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I want to fling myself into the sun
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize