Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
