Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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