They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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