He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Randomize
