The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
