If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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