I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
