Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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