We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
