he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
