so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
this just has baby written all over it
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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