Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
