mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
