Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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