We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I have fence marks all over my body
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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