Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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