i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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