Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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