Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
