Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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