R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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