just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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