i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize