I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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