So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I am available for nakedness
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
