Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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