oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
How does it feel to date your dad?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
