good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
