Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize