We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize