I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
