they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
