If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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