so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Drake has all the answers
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
God, I missed his penis.
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