This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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