and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
